he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
