: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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