listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
