Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
