Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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