We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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