In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
