Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize