i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
