I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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