i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
