after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
