So drunk its hurt
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
