I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
