My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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