did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
