We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
