So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Oh god it's open bar.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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