I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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