in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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