erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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