You smell like a Billy Joel song
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
