i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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