Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
