I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
