This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
