Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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