Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
