so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
