But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
