i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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