Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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