He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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