oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
