I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
