I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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