When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
