is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
