about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
