32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
