Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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