Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
