But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
