Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize