I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
