Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Randomize
