Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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