she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
