it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
