were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
