Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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