Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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