I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
