please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
