just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
