five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Someone came in the potted fern
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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