so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
