my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
