he shaved USA in his pubs
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
