I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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