On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
