yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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