All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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