Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
